ON THE SUBJECT OF HIRING AN ARTIST

Every
day, there are more and more Craigs List posts seeking “artists” for
everything from auto graphics to comic books to corporate logo designs.
More people are finding themselves in need of some form of illustrative
service.

But what they’re NOT doing, unfortunately, is realizing how rare someone with these particular talents can be.

To
those who are “seeking artists”, let me ask you; How many people do you
know, personally, with the talent and skill to perform the services you
need? A dozen? Five? One? …none?

More than likely, you don’t know any. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be posting on craigslist to find them.

And this is not really a surprise.

In
this country, there are almost twice as many neurosurgeons as there are
professional illustrators. There are eleven times as many certified
mechanics. There are SEVENTY times as many people in the IT field.

So,
given that they are less rare, and therefore less in demand, would it
make sense to ask your mechanic to work on your car for free? Would you
look him in the eye, with a straight face, and tell him that his
compensation would be the ability to have his work shown to others as
you drive down the street?

Would you offer a neurosurgeon the
“opportunity” to add your name to his resume as payment for removing
that pesky tumor? (Maybe you could offer him “a few bucks” for
“materials”. What a deal!)

Would you be able to seriously even
CONSIDER offering your web hosting service the chance to have people
see their work, by viewing your website, as their payment for hosting
you?

If you answered “yes” to ANY of the above, you’re obviously
insane. If you answered “no”, then kudos to you for living in the real
world.

But then tell me… why would you think it is okay to live
out the same, delusional, ridiculous fantasy when seeking someone whose
abilities are even less in supply than these folks?

Graphic
artists, illustrators, painters, etc., are skilled tradesmen. As such,
to consider them as, or deal with them as, anything less than
professionals fully deserving of your respect is both insulting and a
bad reflection on you as a sane, reasonable person. In short, it makes
you look like a twit.

A few things you need to know;

1.
It is not a “great opportunity” for an artist to have his work seen on
your car/’zine/website/bedroom wall, etc. It IS a “great opportunity”
for YOU to have their work there.

2. It is not clever to seek a
“student” or “beginner” in an attempt to get work for free. It’s
ignorant and insulting. They may be “students”, but that does not mean
they don’t deserve to be paid for their hard work. You were a “student”
once, too. Would you have taken that job at McDonalds with no pay,
because you were learning essential job skills for the real world? Yes,
your proposition it JUST as stupid.

3. The chance to have their
name on something that is going to be seen by other people, whether
it’s one or one million, is NOT a valid enticement. Neither is the
right to add that work to their “portfolio”. They get to do those
things ANYWAY, after being paid as they should. It’s not compensation.
It’s their right, and it’s a given.

4. Stop thinking that you’re
giving them some great chance to work. Once they skip over your silly
ad, as they should, the next ad is usually for someone who lives in the
real world, and as such, will pay them. There are far more jobs needing
these skills than there are people who possess these skills.

5.
Students DO need “experience”. But they do NOT need to get it by giving
their work away. In fact, this does not even offer them the experience
they need. Anyone who will not/can not pay them is obviously the type
of person or business they should be ashamed to have on their resume
anyway. Do you think professional contractors list the “experience”
they got while nailing down a loose step at their grandmother’s house
when they were seventeen?

If you your company or gig was worth
listing as desired experience, it would be able to pay for the services
it received. The only experience they will get doing free work for you
is a lesson learned in what kinds of scrubs they should not lower
themselves to deal with.

6. (This one is FOR the artists out
there, please pay attention.) Some will ask you to “submit work for
consideration”. They may even be posing as some sort of “contest”.
These are almost always scams. They will take the work submitted by
many artists seeking to win the “contest”, or be “chosen” for the gig,
and find what they like most. They will then usually have someone who
works for them, or someone who works incredibly cheap because they have
no originality or talent of their own, reproduce that same work, or
even just make slight modifications to it, and claim it as their own.
You will NOT be paid, you will NOT win the contest. The only people who
win, here, are the underhanded folks who run these ads. This is
speculative, or “spec”, work. It’s risky at best, and a complete scam
at worst. I urge you to avoid it, completely. For more information on
this subject, please visit [link].

So to
artists/designers/illustrators looking for work, do everyone a favor,
ESPECIALLY yourselves, and avoid people who do not intend to pay you.
Whether they are “spec” gigs, or just some guy who wants a free mural
on his living room walls. They need you. You do NOT need them. Say NO
to free art.

And for those who are looking for someone to do
work for free…please wake up and join the real world. The only thing
you’re accomplishing is to insult those with the skills you need. Get a
clue.

Man,
I am so on top of this. Already got most of the application filled out.
It’s 10 pages long!!!!!!!! But I’ve got 8 of them done so far.
And also talked to some of my friends about my application video. I’m
going to film part of it at my martial arts school to show what I CAN’T
do in Wushu because of my weight. And also how out of shape I am right
now because of being sick. Just have to get my butt over there next
week with my video camera and do some taping!!!!!!!

There is
nothing in the world that I want more than to lose weight and get down
to a normal size. And it has been extremely frustrating to me this
year. Every time I start to feel better and want to start training and
do something about it, I go back to work and get sick all over again.
Or something else holds me back. Whenever I think about it now, I just
about break down into tears. My metabolism is shot because of all the
steroids I have had to take this year. I used to be a solid and had
quite a bit of muscle, but now I’m nothing but fat flab. I walk a lot
when I get to work, but by the time I leave work, I am beyond exhausted
and only want to go home and get in bed. And my days off, I’m either
too busy to go train, or am still too tired from work.

I don’t
know. Something has got to give. It’s either that, or I’ve got to try
to get on that show and get some help!!!!!!!!! I’d do it on my own, but
I’m too broke to afford a trainer, and I also don’t have anyone to
support me and help cheer me on and because of that, I’m lacing the
motivation to do anything about it. It’s rough!!! Too many things
keeping me from doing it on my own. Yeah, a great deal of it is in my
head, but sometimes people just need a little bit of outside
encouragement to get you jump started. And boy, do I need that outside
encouragement right now!!

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO:
No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals,
track expenses and run my business.? What do you have?

A BBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO:
I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting
at my computer and I want to type a proposal.? What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO:
I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight
answers.? What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can
track my money with?

ABBOT T: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?