http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=983714062&n=2

Video of my fat ass doing the first string of the broadsword compulsory. I’m going to start getting some vids of me so I can see how I progress (or don’t). I’ve got to see how I’m doing. I have never taken any vids of me doing any Wushu so I have absolutely no idea how I am doing! And we also do not have mirrors at the school, so I have no clue what I’m doing!! But I’m doing this so I can make a decision if I’m going to keep doing Wushu or not. I’m giving myself 3 months. If I don’t see any improvement, then I’m just going to give it up.

But this is the first time I had done this form in 9 months. Second weekend of training since the beginning of the year (been unable to because I’ve been very sick). And this is also probably the heaviest weight I’ve been in over 15 years (gained 25 pounds due to having to take prednisone since April) and all the weight is in my middle! I’ve been overweight pretty much all my life, but this is the worst I’ve ever looked. 

But no excuses. My stances are low and BAD, I am not holding my poses, I’m rushing through it but still slower than a three toed sloth, and I stumbled and also probably did a bunch of otheer stuff wrong. Basically looks like crap!!

But I’ve got to get that prednisone weight off me! I LOOK DISGUSTING!!!!!!! I’ve looked bad in the past but this is rediculous. So if you do not want to see a walrus doing Wushu, then DON’T WATCH!!!!!!!!

But Wushu peeps, please comment on it, bad or good. I know that they will mostly be bad (because I suck!), but even that is good because it will hopefully be constructive criticism.

But just comment on the Wushu please. Not my appearance. I know I’m very overweight, and I know I’ve got to lose weight. So, please no walrus, whale, fatass, or other fat comments. I’m quite aware that I need to lsoe weight. I am constantly reminded every single time I see myself in the mirror or look down at myself. I hear enough of those comments in my own mind.

I seriously hate my life.

Went back to work today. Need to get my ass outta there ASAP!!! The shit done hit the fan while I was gone!  They fired 13 people while I was away, and they are not letting ANYONE from my department and shift out of there!  If we are A shift and in the Pick department (and unfortunate for me, I am 2 for 2!), that’s where we’re going to be until hell freezes over! They are not going to let us go ANYWHERE!!!!!!!! SHIT!!! I NEED to get out of there. My mental and physical health depends on it!  Shit, I need to start hunting for another job!!!!

Me seepy again. *yawn*   

I go back to work on Sunday. This will be my last weekend where I’m going to have time to do anything. I’m only going to be allowed to work 2 hours Sunday morning. It’s supposed top get me acclimated to working back in the warehouse and also because it’s so friggin hot in there. So I’ll probably go to the school for a little while on Sunday afternoon and work on some more straight sword stuff. I’m going in tomorrow for a little while as well. Just don’t know what I’m going to be doing yet. LOL! Especially since we now have a preliminary Wushu ranking requirements list. YAY! Now I have something to work towards!! It’s just so much easlier to train when you know exactly what you’ve got to work on and vcan set some goals!!! 

Me excited! Me made it to Wushu class both nights this week! Me going Saturday too!! Me so HAPPY!!

Me seepy again.  

AND HAVING THE MOST AWFUL MUSCLE CRAMPS!!!!!!!!!!

Me seepy. Me go seepy-bye.

Damn it, I hope so! Haven’t slept worth a damn in the past couple nights!!!!!!!

Well, didn’t work on straight sword much, but I did work on basics with the rest of the class! At least most of basics. Didn’t do jumps. No way in hell I was going to do that after being gone for about 2 months!!! HELL NO!! But I’m surprised that I even did that much tonight. I went with the sole intention of only working on straight sword basics, and no Wushu basics! No stance or kicking drills, or combos. But I still managed to do them! But I didn’t focus on kicking so high orf ast. Just keeping it all clean. Don’t want to be too sore after my first night back and also my first night of active!!! I’ve been almost completely INACTIVE for those 2 months! And just working on the straight sword basics Sunday afternoon for about 45 minutes made me a little bit sore!!

But I got a couple more things to play with when I practice my straight sword. Just start flowing with it and putting some things together. I did a little bit of it tonight and it was fun. Something new. And I was told that my spins were pretty good except that I need to not rotate my upper body so much when bringing the blade back in front. Broadsword habit I guess. LOL! But I’m getting better. Also put another raquet grip around the handle and I seem to be able to hold on to it better. The handle is thicker and also more cushioned. Also shortened my tassle a bit more. My straight sword is my new baby. LOL! She’s a little bit heavy according to some of my other friends, but she’s a hell of a lot lighter then my old broadsword!! And I was getting fast with that little stinker!! LOL! My straight sword and new broadsword feel like NOTHING in comparison!! LOL!

So I’m happy now! Me Wushuing again!

WUSHU! WUSHU! I GO WUSHU TONIGHT!!!!!!!!  Work on straight sword!!!!! YAY!!!!!!

I CAN’T SLEEP!!!!!!!!!

I find out tomorrow if I can go back to work or not! And if I can, then don’t think that I’m not going to try to go back to Wushu class! Hell, even if I’m not going back to work, then I am at least going to go to class and try to do something. I miss Wushu too damned much!!!!!!! Even if it’s just to go and be in that atmosphere and watching it!!!